This year, everything that once went right for me has gone awfully wrong.
Everything I've loved or loved doing have become things I now dread.
This year, nothing seems to happen my way.

I've failed as a captain today.
I knew the score the CI counted was wrong,
but I gave up trying to amend the score after they scolded me.
That failure to persist and argue has costed my team and myself 6 points.
6 precious points.

With those 6 points, my score would be 152/200,
giving me a high chance of qualifying for the individual finals.
With those 6 points, my team's score would be 530,
giving us a real chance for the finals.

Without those 6 points,
I have allowed the chance of qualifying for BOTH the individual and team finals slip right through my fingers.

It was earned. Right there, in my hands.
And I simply let it go.

My team did their best.
I could ask for no better.
But for me?
I have failed.

As a captain, as a team-mate, as a shooter, I have failed.

I feel the same way as I did after the Air Pistol nationals, and CA1.
Disappointed.
Performing so far below my expected standard left me dejected.

I let my nerves get the better of me during the air pistol nationals.
I let complacency blind me during my CA1.
I let frustration get the better of me today.

I have failed.
Sorry.